my dog ate my homework

an age-old excuse that's so incredibly obvious that no one actually uses it anymore. so... what if someone were to actually use this excuse now? would the teacher dismiss it as a really lame lie, or would they actually believe the student on the grounds that no one's stupid enough to tell that particular lie? indeed it boggles the mind...



funny story; when i was in third grade, on my birthday i believe, my dog did, in fact eat my homework. no lie. well, to be technical, he only took a bite outta my assignment notebook/agenda/thing and chewed up my birthday pencil real nice. being the moronic little nine-year-old i was, i panicked. "the teacher would never believe me!!" looking back on it, the teacher would have to have been really ignorant and stubborn NOT to believe me. after all, the evidence was clear. there were teeth marks on my assignment book and everything. she even gave me a new birthday pencil the next day. it's the bizarre little things that make life as interesting as it can be.

yea, that was back in the good ol' days when jackson was alive. ah, yes, jackson; he ate so much chocolate he became immune to the fact that it's poisonous for dogs. one time he ate 6 one-pound bars of chocolate and we had to get his stomach pumped. that was the first time. i can't remember what he ate when we had to get his stomach pumped the second time. he also ate the entire contents of my easter basket one year (because i was stupid enough to leave it on the floor), and a 14 (or was it 12? or 10?) ounce box of mint melt-aways. he also ate a rabbit. a REAL rabbit. i didn't get to see him do it, as we were on vacation at the time and my mom's friend liz (and her daughter, my friend nicole) were watching him. i believe nicole relayed the story with definate stress on the fact that she started freaking out and yelling at the dog to stop, which of course he didn't. jackson also ate nicole's piece of chocolate cake one time. apparently it scarred her for life... or for a few years at least. jackson was also known to eat cookies out of my hand as i was walking back to my little picnic table to sit and eat them. he would sit next to matt at dinner (when matt was really little, we actually had a drop-cloth that we'd put under his chair) and rather than stare up at matt, begging for scraps, jackson would stare at the ground, anticipating scraps to fall on the floor.

oh yea, and jessie, here's that escaflowne thumbnail theater that i was telling you about. now you have something new to do while at work. ;)