1985

This is a really funny anime music video somebody made. Seriously, check it out, i thought it was hilarious!

1985

Strider- said...
What's up with you and you're emo mode lately!? Just because life is so full of sadness doesn't mean the little enjoyments are so fruitless.

It seems to me that people are too lazy to try and enjoy themselves, or try to ease whatever sadness may be in their life. It's too easy to fall into depression and live a life full of regret and pain. Society, unfortunately, helps facilitate these emotions by mostly pointing out one's personal flaw ie. the perfect body, hair, relationship, etc. It does not really promote talking to someone or doing things to help depression except to take medication for it. In my opinion, even medication is just a band-aid on a potentially worse problem. People are not finding good outlets to help release all that stress, sadness, and anger. And no, video games aren't a outlet =P

Relationships, or lack of one, is really nothing different than anything else. It's just a debate of the road not taken. All the debate does is offer insight on what you should do better, or how you should act in a particular situation. If you end up alone at the end of your life, there usually is a reason as to why. Be it stubborness to not open up, too shy to try and ask a prospect, not having or wanting to take the time necessary, etc. It's personal desire, and maybe a lil luck.

As for music, sadly, that's pretty much all you're gonna hear on the radio these days, especially ours. It's easy to vent in music how much one's life sucks or to rant about the pain of being left by his girlfriend, or how they even want to die because they can't muster up the strength to suck it up. What makes me even more sad, is that they're getting paid to whine. 'Tis why I don't like Fall Out Boy, Simple Plan, etc. If I want to listen to someone bitch, I'll listen to my mother bitch about me cleaning my room.

In short, no more emo. Ninja's orders. That is all.

~Ninja Vanish~

sorry, i didn't mean to sound emo and i'm not really depressed either. it's more like i'm in a gloomy or dismal mood (heh, kinda sounds like i'm describing the weather). and speaking of weather, i'm sure that plays into my mood as well. it's been gloomy and downcast lately (wait, was it yesterday? i forgot :S it is today in any case) which is enough to put anyone in low spirits. i'm also tired. i worked sunday and monday, school all day on tuesday, worked on wednesday, friday, saturday, today, and will be working tomorrow. we all already know that i'm not the type of person who has endless bounds of energetic reserves to draw upon, so that brings my mood down a notch too. it also feels like my brain is in limbo or something because of it. i can't concentrate so well at the moment. @_@

as for the music, i actually haven't been listening to the radio lately. alot of instrumental stuff and certain anime soundrack songs. i've been specifically picking the ones that aren't upbeat merely because i feel like listening to slower, sad, pretty music. you know what i mean? it's not hopeless-oh-god-my-life-sucks sad, it's hmm...how sad. i hope that made sense. i've also been reading sappy fan fiction (though it's hard to find well-written stories most of the time and i'm kinda ashamed to admit it -- bad, annie! bad!)

it's true what you said about being lazy, though. i am being rather lazy lately (prolly cuz of my lack of energy...). and for the most part i'm too lazy to go out and make a real social life for myself. you're right, it is the road not taken; i choose not to put forth alot of energy in finding a boyfriend. what's making it seem sad is those damn sappy stories. when it comes right down to it, i'd rather be a little sad sometimes and content the rest of the time not being in a relationship. i believe that you can't find anything if you're actually looking for it; thus i don't go looking for a boyfriend. instead, i bide my time and wait for the right guy to show up. when he does, i'll know. i don't know how i'll know, but i know i will.... if that made any sense at all...

actually i don't ever listen to fall out boy. never really sparked my interest. as for simple plan, i haven't listened to my simple plan cd in a while because it hurts my voice to sing along when i'm driving. it's too low to sing in my girl-singing voice and too high to sing in my regular/talking-singing voice. heh.

p.s. i know video games aren't an outlet, but they're a nice distraction all the same :P

i think i posted that last post because i wanted to speculate on life and its sad aspects. not to bitch about them or whine, but ponder in a appreciative sort of way, as odd as that may sound. sometimes tragedies are the best stories.

so i'm sorry if i sounded like one of those dumb emo teens that seem to be all over the internet. that wasn't my intention. i'm just being tired, sappy (gah!), and stupid. what i really need is a day to catch up on my sleep. or better yet, christmas break. i need that.

life is so sad

life is so sad, be it real or fiction. i wonder what people feel before they die, when they've gone and lived their lives without finding someone to spend it with? are they lonely? and what about people who have? are they content? or do they die full of regret for leaving someone behind? for the most part i live my life on a day to day emotional basis. i don't like to think about such things in the long run, it's just too depressing. so i'll concentrate on the next update of my favorite update, or the long-awaited release of the next book in a favorite series. for a birthday, for a tv special, anything new that will entertain me. sometimes everything seems like it's just a distraction from the inevitable sadness that accompanies all life. sorrow always feels so much more permanent and lasting than happiness, which seems so fleeting from a low perspective.

i need to stop listening to all this sad music... but it's just so pretty...

yes, i'm being morbid again.

i just finished watching the day after tomorrow again (man, i just love that movie!) it got me thinking: it's really funny how the best horror movies aren't even classified as "horror" at all! anymore, "scary" movies are just dumb (well, most of them, thirteen ghosts was pretty damn good) and predictable. on the other hand, you have action movies like the day after tomorrow and armageddon and, oh what was that one called?, deep impact, i think (actually i'm not even sure if i've seen the whole thing... but all those movies where they simulate the end of the world as we know it. they're horrifying! (hmm, to let you know just how that last sentence should be read, i should tell you i was smiling as i wrote it.) every time i watch the day after tomorrow i imagine what it would be like if that actually happened. we'd be screwed, that's what. pay close attention to the line professor hall draws on the U.S. map -- nebraska is oh, so most definately and unquestionably on the north side of that line. the north half of kansas is too, for that matter. of course, we wouldn't have to worry about all our belongings to freeze instantaneously like all the stuff they had with them in new york (there's only one eye of a storm and there's only one storm over north america, it can't be in new york and nebraska both). however, everything we have would probably receive severe water damage (it'd be covered in snow and when we take it somewhere else to warm up the snow would melt all over it getting it soaked. my books would be ruined! *sob*) all i've got to say, though, is that i sure as hell hope cheney is smarter than that jackass of a vice-president in the movie.

what would you do if you knew the world was going to practically end tomorrow and there was the possibility that you may never see your friends and family again? is there something you'd want to tell someone? would you want to do something in particular? who would you want to be with you during such a storm? which of your friends and/or family members do you think would be most useful in a life or death situation like that? when you see that sort of thing in movies the general stereotype is that the shy, underdog-type guy confesses his love to that special girl. do you think you or somebody you know would do something like that? it really makes you wonder. for that matter, if you could only choose a certain number of people to save, who would you pick? (like in deep impact where there was a shelter underground that could save people, but only a limited number.)

another thing i was thinking about today was useless trivia. just how much do you know about your closest friends and family? sure, you know how they act and stuff, but do you know their favorite color? do they have only one favorite color? or do they have a favorite color, then a different favorite color when it comes to clothing? what's their favorite song? band? flower? scent? food? tv show? movie? activity? just how much do you know about a person? probably not as much as you think? even the most talkative person could be witholding a completely different side of theirself. this summer several of my friends (you know who you are) were over at my uncle's for the fourth of july. towards the end of the day when my aunt and uncle (um, one of them) were getting ready to go home and take my grandpa home, they wheeled him past where we were all standing around doing nothing in particular, and my grandpa said "bye, annie-bannanie!" which surprised joe (i think it was joe) and possibly other people but they didn't say anything. is it really so surprising to hear my grandpa call me "annie-bannanie"? (don't any of you dare get any ideas -- nobody calls me that but him. if you try addressing me as such i'll sock you one!) there's another friend of my mom's (whose name is also ann) that calls me annie-fandango (same goes for that nickname people). i guess i just don't seem like the kind of person who'd tolerate being called silly nicknames like that. (well, come to think of it, i'm not. like i said, i'd slug anybody else who'd try calling me that. i can just see it: some smartass coming up and calling me annie-bannanie, thinking they're being all cute and funny. it sickens me.) anyway, it reminds me of the first day of gym class second semester freshman year. i was in the same class as cameron, rob, and ben. so anyway, ms. nano was taking roll call and as amost every teacher asks me when they first meant me, she asked "is it anne or annie?" and my standard reply is "either". but then the trio mentioned previously starts going into a fake cough saying "anne" in the middle of it. why they hell did they care? it still baffles me.

when i was down at my family's last week having dinner (mmm, chinese) somehow we got into a conversation about dating. my mom said that you always hear about this girl that reese likes or this girl that nate likes (or this girl that any number of matt's other close friends like), but you never hear about this girl matt likes. why is that? well, matt enlightened us on that one, and i totally know where he's coming from. he said that having a girlfriend was too much hassle -- she'll want to spend all this time with you and you'll have to spend all this money to pay for dinner and movies and stuff, etc. etc. seriously, it's the same with boyfriends (minus the paying for shit, but i'l get to the equivalent of that in a minute). they'll always wabt to spend time with you and they'll always want to be touching you in some way (be it perverted or not) or they'll want to make-out alot and they'll insist on paying for everything. it drives me crazy!!!!!! i know what you're thinking; why the hell wouldn't this crazy chic want things paid for her? well i'll tell you why. it always sends me on a guilt trip. i can pay for things myself too, i do have a job. it's just not very fair to have somebody else pay for my stuff. it makes me feel terrible. it may have some deep-seated connection with my need for independance (unconsciously), but whatever. and the touching and making-out part. *sigh* there are just times when i don't want to be touched by anyone. period. i'm not always in the mood for making-out. period. one time i was standing around with my friends (back in high school) and one guy was innocently rubbing his girlfriend's shoulders. nothing sick, nothing inappropriate, but imagining myself in that situation made me slightly ill. i'm not a touchy-feely person (which should be totally obvious by now). man, i think i just have issues or something. heheh, another thing i brought up in that conversation is that i don't give out points for persistence (you guys remember tim the freezer guy from my work.... yeah). then my mom replies "you don't give out points for anything!" which made me laugh. it's so true. it's also exasperating when other girls tell me i should get out there and try dating people. apparently, they just don't get it. i can't just decide one day "okay, i want to be dating someone!" who the hell would i date? and before any smartass decides to answer that i'd like to state that there isn't anybody around that i want to date. not only would it be stupid for me to get into a relationship with someone i have no feelings for, there's also the guy's feelings to take into account. that would just be cruel. i don't lead people on (despite what some of you may think! just because i can easliy talk with guys and am not a total bitch to the world doesn't mean i like somebody. i just wish people would understand that...) and i don't intend to ever do such a insensitive act. and don't you people think i'm going soft or anything! being that mean just isn't cool.

and i don't want anything at all!!!

really weird

yea, so i was in the student center food court yesterday, and guess what i heard over the intercom on mav radio? it was the teen titans theme song... wtf?

is that the high school?

this evening i drove down to lincoln with my parents to see the gross volleyball team play in the finals (they won, by the way). they played at lincoln southwest high school, which we had a good deal of trouble finding. so we're driving down the road looking for a large building with a fairly big parking lot. soon enough, we see a pretty big building with a fair-sized parking lot and my dad says "is that the high school?" as we drive past the front of the building we see what's written on it. it wasn't the high school. it was the state penitentiary.

yea, so i'm searching through the listings on e-bruno and writing up my potential scheduele and i run into a problem. just how am i going to arrange this?! for the past two semesters i've been able to scheduele all my classes on just three days. unfortunately it's just not working that way this time. i pretty much have to fix my scheduele around the writing class i'll be taking (poetry again, ick), which is on a tuesday afternoon. next i need to get started on my foriegn language. unfortunately they only offer elementary spanish on a monday-wednesday-friday scheduele, and each class is about an hour and a half long. now i'm left with thursday as my only day off (which is now officially the day i'm going to have to work on). next on the list is another lit. class and a natural or social science. my advisor recommended horticulture for a natural science, saying it wasn't really heavy on math and stuff, but unfortunately (again) it's not even being offered this next semester. i've always been thinking about taking astronomy, but after reading the descriptions i'm getting skeptical. it sounds awful algebraic. this really shouldn't worry me, as i'm fairly decent at upper-level math. i just don't like it. and i haven't had to do any more math than balancing my checkbook and adding the prices of stuff i have to order from decopac and bakery crafts at work (i actually don't really have to add them all up, i just prefer to. that way i know for sure whether i'm over the $90 and $75 marks where we get free shipping from each company). needless to say that's super-easy math. i also kinda want to take intro. to theater (it sounds fun). then there's the option of taking a social science instead. actually, come to think of it, i don't have to take more than three classes next semester, since the spanish class is worth five and the poetry studio is worth four that makes up the extra three i'd need for a fourth class (we need a minimum of twelve credit hours a semester). eh, i'd rather take four, this way i'll be getting 15 credit hours but it won't feel like it (usually you'd have to take five classes to get 15 hours, you know?)

anyway, i'm starting to ramble... so i'm gonna end this post here