Queen of Wands

this is an awesome web comic gabe showed me. so have a read, why dontcha?

Queen of Wands

*sigh* i need a vacation

ah, well, no replying to comments today. it takes so long and i'm getting tired of it, though i do gotta say: sure, what the hell, i dare you: who are you? though one of the said persons is someone i haven't ever heard of... ??? i checked out his livejournal, and there was a post about me (aw, how sweet of him). apparently i'm hellish. that's a new one, though i think i prefer being called hellish than what i think they called me behind my back in grade school *shudders* that hell-hole.

anyway, this morning on the radio they were talking about women being called "mam" and hating it. well, i gotta agree, it's really weird being called "mam" when you're only 18-years-old, especially when the general population writes you off as 16. you would think that they'd just go with "miss". honestly, don't they find it strange calling someone who could be their daughter "mam"? but then they were talking about this 23-year-old who was all pissed off from being called "mam" by and 18-year-old waitress. this is where we get into the grey area. where do you draw the line between calling someone "mam" and "miss". i guess it's just up to the person's own discretion, but personally i think i'm far too young to be a "mam". unless it's a five-year-old who thinks that age 13 is ancient. you gotta forgive lil' kids for that stuff, they don't know better. one time my mom came home and told me how one of her pre-school students told her "look! there's your sister!" but they meant me. :S

so i was just watching the matrix, and i decided my favorite character is mouse. it's so sad when he dies an' all, and i love his lil' tasty wheat speech. it really makes ya think. after that neo, trinity, and morpheus are kick-ass of course, and i think i liked link (from the 2nd and 3rd movies) better than tank and dozer. maybe it's just because he's in two movies, so you get to know him better.

yea, so i went to the eye doctor today, because my eyesight sucks and has been even worse than usual. turns out my contacts wore out, so i'm getting new ones. though when they brought back my current lenses from the cleaner/lab place and i went to put them back in, surprise surprise! the doctor accidentally put them in cleaner and not the solution. man did that burn! so i've been wearing my glasses all evening, and the sting is finally going away.

i've been so tired lately, i can't wait for the weekend. sadly, though, i have to work both days. which means my mother id gonna make me get up and go to church in the morning.... again. which would be so bad if it wasn't IN THE MORNING! i need my goddam sleep! no, not beauty sleep; no amount of slumber could improve my looks (and not that i give a damn, either), just plain sleep.

to address my relentless slew of anonymous commenters: i honestly don't see how insulting me would "help" me. spreading negative consequenses to one's actions is what parent's do, so why are you trying to? that and why do you "care" so much when you obviously hate every fiber of my being? and as to no one really liking me, oh well. see if i care. i've dealt with that before, and i can do it again. and one last request: could you just be out-right with all this? because in person no one seems to harbor any intense hatred of my nature, and i'd really appreciate if people would just be up-front about it. false pretenses piss me off.

your anger amuses me II

Anonymous said...
You need to stop playing the victim if thats really how you feel.

saying things like:
"i just wonder what everyone is so damn busy with anymore.... the least they could do is tell me so i'd have something to do too, but no."

and:
"if you want to hang out with me, why don't you call me?"

...ok, now is it just me or does that not make sense. if that's how i really feel, then how am i "playing"? one does not "play" the person who they are, they ARE the person who they are. and when i said "the least they could do is tell me so i'd have something to do too, but no," i think you misunderstand me. i'm not saying that "oh no, poor me, everybody excludes me," i'm saying that i wish i knew what they were doing to occupy their time so that i'd have an idea of what i could be doing to occupy my time. example: "person x" tells me that they're watching "movie y". i say "good idea!" and i go off to watch "movie y" on my tv. get it now? and the "but no" comment was sarcasm, fyi.

nobody wants to hang out with someone who is going to act like they don't even care. its also really crappy to keep saying that "no one reads this blog, so im writing to myself" all the time. You know people read this, and you're not getting sympathy.

btw, you can reply in comments, unless you are trying to broadcast whats going on.

4:35 PM

care about what? nobody's gonna hang out with a person who "acts like they don't even care" about what? you're being to vague; be more specific. well, you know what? it's do damn bad that you think it's crappy that i say whatever the hell i say. once again, you don't like it, yet you come here and read this blog anyway. i dunno about you, but usually i aviod reading things that i don't like. and i'm not looking for sympathy, i'm humoring myself. for the first two months i started this blog nobody read it, so i'd talk to myself about how i was talking to myself. now people apparently do read this, yet i still mention that i'm talking to myself. it's more of an ongoing joke than anything, really. if you don't find it funny; well, sorry, but i don't give a damn. and if i replied in my comments to you, then there's no guarentee that you'd see my reply. that and i wouldn't get to mock you openly like this.

Anonymous said...
*Agrees to the stated comment.*

I love how you like to twist words around just to show that you are right in some little way shape or form. Does it make you feel more secure about yourself? Does it make you feel special knowing that you're right in the most INSIGNIFICANT way?

well, maybe it does! so there! what now, huh?!

Using quotes from the previous comment,
"if you want to hang out with me, why don't you call me?"

What makes you so special so that you don't have to put any effort into hanging out? So you say people are busy, well they are not always busy. Come up with a time to hang out. It's not a sin to plan ahead.

hmm, who am i supposed to be calling again? you failed to answer my question from last time. and as for your first question, that's a double standard right there, my friend (then again, you're not my friend, are you?). what makes YOU so special YOU don't have to put any effort into hanging out? i rest my case.

Anonymous said...
its called pick up the fucking phone and call someone. the theme of your blog seems to be "no one hangs out with me"
but do you ever ask anyone to hang out?
STEP UP or SHUT UP

"i have never said "no one hangs out with me".
You imply it, which is pretty much the same thing. Don't try to twist words around when everyone who reads this thing KNOWS that is what you mean. Anony is right, if you don't start doing things for yourself, nothing will ever get better.

ok, you're just like the first guy. too vague. "nothing will ever get better" ...what was bad in the first place? what are you saying won't ever get better if i don't start "doing things" for myself? and what are these "things" i'm supposed to be doing? "everyone KNOWS that is what you mean" that's a lil' broad there, dontcha think? how do you "KNOW" that everyone thinks they "KNOW" what you "KNOW"? and what does posting anonymously have to do with "doing things" and "nothing" ever getting "better"? posting anonymously is cowardly. you're afraid of my knowing who you are. why is that, i wonder? you're so bold in your words, why don't you want my to know who you are. if the whole beef is that you want me to call YOU and ask YOU if YOU wanna hang out, then why is it you don't tell me who YOU are? though i seriously doubt that i'd call you and ask you to hang out. i don't hang out with people who hate me.

But, since your such the extrovert, go ahead, maintain your course of action. Fail at making friends, fail at keeping grades, fail at every thing else you do. Go on, do it. Be the failure your making yourself out to be. The only person who you're hurting is yourself.

Or you can take the hard way and begin to become more active socially, you don't get better if you don't try.

7:44 PM

where the hell did you get the idea that i was an extrovert?! maintaining my course of action would be an act of INTROVERSION, you moron. and if it's meant to be sarcasm, you suck, because implying that i call myself an extrovert is just something you've obviously made up off the top of your head, because nowhere in this blog, or ever in my life, have i said or thought myself to be an extrovert. quite the opposite. yes yes, you think i'm a failure. where does it come into play that i "fail at every thing else [i] do"? and how am i making myself out to be a failure? sure i may fail at making new friends, but where did i ever say i actually thought i'd succeed? i'm not a very good people person, if you haven't noticed, and i seem to remember being unable to make any friends in my grade school class. "fail at keeping grades" woah, where did THAT come from. my gpa has absolutely nothing to do with my social skills and is none of your god damned business. you're so desparate for insults, it's sad.

your anger amuses me

Anonymous said...
its called pick up the fucking phone and call someone. the theme of your blog seems to be "no one hangs out with me"
but do you ever ask anyone to hang out?
STEP UP or SHUT UP

10:48 AM
Anonymous said...
Amen to that my brother.

11:24 AM

ok, look back. not once in my last post did i mention that i had no one to hang out with. i pondered what everyone was doing, yes, but i didn't say at all "no one hangs out with me". i have never said "no one hangs out with me". i say "everyone's always so busy" and THAT'S why they aren't hanging out with me. but what can i do. let me also state that it's a free country and i can say whatever i damn well please. also, ONCE AGAIN: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE CALLING?! posting anonymously doesn't help your cause. if you want to hang out with me, why don't you call me? all i said was that the weekend was boring and i didn't do anything. look all you want, but you're not going to find me complaining that no one's around to hang out with. i assume that people are busy when they don't suggest doing anything. no one has proven me wrong, remember? i asked people to, BUT THEY DIDN'T!!! *laughing manically* *falls over laughing*

yet another weekend gone to seed

nothing exciting to report here, as usual. on friday i walked around the mall for a while. then came home and did nothing. on saturday i helped serve food at celebration, then i came home and did nothing. today i went to church, then work, and now i'm here, doing nothing. i just wonder what everyone is so damn busy with anymore.... the least they could do is tell me so i'd have something to do too, but no. at work i was doing some brainstorming for my story, and i came up with a couple ok ideas. i still don't know how the prince is gonna find out that jackie is a girl, though. everything i've come up with is too much like a movie that's already done it. that and she's gotta do more magic. i totally forgot about magic, and she's supposed to be a mage!!!

eh, that's all i can think of to say.